okay so I'm failing spectacularly at getting myself a profile picture. I'm pretty much incapable. So regardless. I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm pretty bored, and I'm on break, so I figured I'd actually start one of these so that I can look back on the stuff I write in a few years and laugh at myself.
Soo I just returned from puerto rico/new york city this afternoon, and got a few random last minute gifts. Extraordinary levels of procrastination this year.
I wonder if this thing has a spell check with the little red lines underneath. Probably. Even Facebook has one now. Like we care whether we spell our wall posts correctly. Regardless, I wonder.
It's almost Christmas, and I always get rather sad around this time. When I get my Christmas gifts, I'm always thinking about how so many kids don't receive gifts (THERE IS A SPELL CHECK I JUST SPELLED RECEIVE WRONG AND IT SHOWED UP), and it makes me feel horrible about all the expensive shit I'm receiving. I mean, today I realized that the outfit I was wearing could pay a poor families rent for at least two months, or buy some little kids christmas presents. So then I donated all the money I had on me to the salvation army bell ringer man, but it still doesn't seem like even close to enough. Thirty dollars isn't going to help too many kids.
This is one of the reasons I'm going to go to medical school and get a well paying job. I'm not going to have kids, and I really wont have too many things that I need to spend money on. So I want to do things like buy hundreds of toys and then just give them out to little kids whose families cannot afford them. The problem is, when I go back to my school, having multiple pairs of ugg boots, the latest macbook, and a designer wardrobe seems far more important than it does when I see kids in old san juan in ratty clothes trying to sell homemade jewelry so that their families can eat. It makes me kind of sick to thing about the fact that if everyone at my school bought three less brooks brothers shirts a year, or three less jcrew cashmere sweaters, and used that money to do useful things instead, we could make a huge difference. I know it's hypocritical, because I'm just as guilty of this as they are, but the thought never ceases to amaze me. I also don't mean to sound self-righteous or anything. It's just something that makes me really sad sometimes.
Also, the fact that I never believed in Santa because of my dad kind of ruined the fun of christmas for me from the age of 5 onward, and the faith part isn't there, because i'm an Atheist. I mean, yay Jesus, it's your birthday, but really, I kind of hate Christmas. Except the family gathering part. The rest is just consumerism and lying to our children so that they behave during the winter when they're stuck inside.
On a little bit of a brighter note because I'm sounding like a depressed meanie, I bought some good books today. A picture of dorian gray, by Oscar Wilde, Mansfield Park, and Wuthering heights, which I've been meaning to pick up for ages. I also got some things for my family. 11 out of the 38 christmas gifts I've bought this year have been comprised at least partially of books. hm.
